Aftermath
by CouslandSpitFire
Summary: <html><head></head>F!Cousland/Alistair; Strong Sexual Content; The only way to ensure that they will survive the slaying of the Archdemon, is to perform the forbidden ritual. Afterwards, Alistair needs her to help wash away the taint this ritual brought with it.</html>


**Aftermath**

Alistair had taken his second bath of the evening, reusing the now ice-cold water in the room they had given him. The coldness did not perturb him; he just needed to get cleaned up, to forget that cold, deliberate touch. Her fingers were like ice, methodically inching their way across his body. She had not tried to kiss him and he was glad for that at least. As he stood there, naked, looking at his hands, he could not help but feel tainted - more tainted than the Darkspawn blood had ever made him feel.

Morrigan had blown out that candle and pushed hard against him. He had closed his eyes and tried to think of another woman, of _her_ - for some moments, it worked… until the difference in her movements and the lack of any warmth in the room had brought him back to reality. The worst part, however, was that through all the disgust he had felt with himself, all the difficulty he had feeling anything at all, she _had_ aroused him – she _had_ made his body respond. He _was _tainted.

As he stood there and stared at his bed, the one they had shared not even an hour ago, he felt a wave of despair rising in him. The same despair, that had made him comply. He still did not know whether this ritual would really work, if it could indeed save their lives. Even so – tomorrow they would march for Denerim. It would take them days to reach the city, even when travelling as fast as possible, and in Denerim, they would have to fight the horde and the Archdemon itself. A grim smile formed on his lips at that thought. There was no guarantee they would even reach it, that they would get past the horde and the generals. They had been incredibly lucky so far, had survived against all odds. But a single stray arrow could kill. One lost second and any ordinary Hurlock could bury it's blade in her body, killing her without any chance to ever end the blight. So even if this damned, forbidden ritual worked, there was no guarantee that they would both survive.

Before he could stop himself his fist struck the wall. The sound resonated through the room as the pain seared through his fingers, pushing the thoughts away. He hit the wall again, welcoming the pain. He felt like he'd betrayed her, even though she had persuaded him into doing this in the first place. He had slept with another woman and in some way he could not fathom, he had enjoyed it – otherwise she would never have been able to receive his child. _His child_.

He hit the wall one more time, coming to a final conclusion as he did so. He just could not leave it at this; he couldn't simply lay down in that bed and sleep. Not while he was still tainted and still thinking of what he and Morrigan did together.

He needed _her_. He needed her to drive away the memories, to make new memories, better memories. Should he die, that would be the last thing to think of. Should he die, only she would be in his mind. He needed her to wash away this taint, this bitter taste in his mouth, he needed _her_. He picked up his tunic and the trousers, both borrowed from Teagan, and threw them on quickly, before he slipped from his room. It was late and his companions had long retired. Crossing the hallway with quick steps, he reached her door and without knocking entered.

She was sitting in the chair in front of the fire, just as he had left her. Her head rested on her knees, her arms slung around them, hugging herself. He had known she would not sleep. As the door flew open, she jerked around, torn from the thoughts that clouded her mind. Her faithful Mabari, Fang, jumped to his feet in alarm at this sudden invasion, but once he recognized the mysterious intruder he visibly relaxed, sending the young man a questioning gaze. She met his eyes and opened her lips to say something, but closed them again after a moment when no words escaped her.

"Guard the door", Alistair simply told the dog, holding the door open, not once allowing himself to remove his eyes from hers. Confused, the war hound looked back to his mistress, cocking his head to one side and then the other. Only when she nodded mindlessly, entranced in Alistair's stare, would the dog trot towards the corridor, leaving the room. The heir to the throne kicked the door shut behind him and closed the distance between the two of them instantly.

"I'm sorry", she whispered, raising a hand to grasp for his before letting it return to her side once more, afraid to touch him, scared it would break him, scared it would break _them_. Most of all, because she was not even sure he would let her touch him after what she'd just persuaded him to do. He sensed her hesitation, taking her hand and pulling her up, pressing her flush against him in a crushing embrace.

"Don't be", he said simply, his voice barely a whisper. After some short moments, he pulled himself out of their clinch so he could look deep into her eyes. He studied her expression and immediately felt at ease as he noted how relieved she looked as her body relaxed completely against his, her fears had simply melted calmed. "I need you", he told her. At first she was confused, searching for the meaning of his words in his eyes. Then she slowly raised herself up on tiptoes, brushing her lips gently against his.

He buried a hand in the fabric of her blouse, feeling the warmth of her body against him. Unable to restrain himself any longer, he claimed her mouth in a searing kiss, nothing soft or gentle like she was used to. He pulled her lower lip between his teeth deepening the kiss, moving a hand into her hair, opening the short pony tail in which she was holding it up.

Once loose, he watched as her hair fell, softly framing her features. He could smell the soap she'd used to wash it just hours ago, the scent he'd come to recognize as hers. But right now, it's just not enough, he needs more of her, he needs _everything_. He pushed her back and only stopped when her back hit the wall with a hard thud, pressing himself against her. With both hands resting on either side of her face and her body against his he pinned her there, ravishing her until he can feel her heartbeat quicken in her chest as she gasps for air.

One of his hands roamed to her lower back, holding her closer as he moved his free hand over her firm behind, further still to her thighs. With one swift movement, he pulled her leg up to his hip and she readily complied, following his directions and wrapping herself around him.

He broke the kiss for only a second to grab the hem of her blouse, pulling it up and over her head in one swift movement. Buttons went flying, but he didn't care. He quickly discovered that she was not wearing anything underneath as he let his other hand stray to her face, caressing those soft, warm lips. His hand moved lower, cupping one of her breasts, his thumb circling her nipple. He bent his head and without wasting another moment he took the other one in his mouth. She gave a surprised gasp at this sudden movement and buried her hands in his short hair.

Not quite satisfied with the angle, Alistair moved his hand from her breast to her other leg, pulling it up hastily and positioning it tighter around his hip as she pressed her back against the wall to keep from falling. She hooked her feet behind his back to keep stable as he lifted her up a bit further, allowing him better access to her breasts. Once again he took one in his mouth, teasing her nipple with his tongue until she was hot and flushed and moaning. When he took her other nipple between two fingers and squeezed it lightly, she mewled and threw her head back as he grinned against her skin, more than satisfied because _it was_ _him that was doing this to her_.

His pants were becoming more restricting by the minute, but he wasn't ready to untangle himself from her just yet. Instead he rolled his hips against hers, allowing her to feel his arousal, again and again. He felt her fingernails at his shoulders, holding on tightly as she tried to steady herself, otherwise soft fingertips digging into his skin. She gripped his tunic, tugging on it sharply so she could pull it off him, but he refused to comply just yet.

Only after long moments, when she gave him a frustrated sound, tugging harder, did he finally raise his head, releasing her breast from his mouth as she arched her back at the sudden loss of contact. His tunic landed dangerously close to the fireplace, nearly catching on fire, but he didn't care. All he could think about was the fact that he needed her and he wanted to sink himself into her, he wanted to burn this moment into his memory. Her heaving bosom, the unsteady breathing, how her nails left marks on his skin. By now, she was willing him to pick up his caressing once more as her legs wrapped around him tightly, his throbbing member pressing against her, eliciting delicious sounds from her lips.

He put his hands on her legs at this moment, pushing them from his waist with regret as he heard her give him a whimper in protest. As soon as her feet hit the floor, he hooked his fingers under the waistband of her skirt and pulled it down, together with her underclothes. As soon as she stepped out of them, he kicked them away and claimed her lips again, moving to her neck after barely a moment. He bit her and she groaned, it was enough to make her rake her nails across his back as he pulled down his own trousers, because he couldn't be gentle and slow, not today, not now. She didn't seem to mind, overcome with the same sense of haste that he was as she tried in vain to pull him across the room towards the bed.

He gives it a fleeting glance, before pinning her back against the wall with force she'd only seen before in battle, taking her thighs in his hands again to lift up her legs and put them around his waist. "Too far away", his voice was husky and laced with desire as he lowered his head, taking her nipple into his mouth once again. While one hand steadied her against him, the other lay flat against her stomach. He felt the muscles under her skin flex as she arched her back, pushing herself against him as he slowly moved his hand down until he reached the folds between her legs.

His fingers slipped in between and with satisfaction he took note of how wet she was. Hot, bothered and utterly gorgeous as her eyelids fluttered closed, moaning as she squirmed under his touch. His free hand squeezed her breast as he gave her nipple a flick with his tongue. He found her clit with ease, giving it a stroke, feeling her thrust her hips against him as he did so. His fingers moved down until he reached her opening and gently slid one in. For a moment he forgot everything else as he felt how tight she was around him, it was clear that she is more than ready to take him. She moved her hips against his hand again, obviously frustrated with his stillness and the lack of friction she craved. At this he gave a breathless laugh, because she almost never lost it like she did right now. He had come to know her as soft and gentle and warm and he loved her for that – but right now she was hot against him and there was no calmness in the way she was holding onto his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin, and certainly no softness in her voice, not when she almost growled his name into his ear like that.

Without an answer he gripped her hips roughly with both hands, lifting her up a bit for better access before he buried himself deep inside her. She threw her head back and braced herself against the wall with her back. She was wet and tight and everything he had ever dreamt of in all the lonely nights he had spent in the Chantry. He slid out of her for a second, only to thrust his hips against hers once more, sinking into her core. Her breasts bounced ever so slightly with every thrust, causing him to do it again and again. Falling into pace with him, she used her legs around his waist to pull him ever closer to match his hungry strokes, desperate to feel him a little deeper, a little closer, a little harder.

She gasped for air when his lips trailed down from her neck to find her breast again, sucking her nipple between his teeth, so he could tease her and play with it. His hands remained on her hips allowing him to keep his pace. Her movements grew urgent and he could feel how close she was as her muscles started to tighten around him, she began to quicken the pace herself, pushing closer and closer towards her peak. Each stroke was deep and hard and when she finally succumbed and came hard, he kept thrusting into her, carrying her even further forward, breathless murmurs on her lips. He felt the throbbing in his member growing almost irresistibly strong as her very core squeezed and teased him. His lips left her breast momentarily as he allowed himself to look closely at her. Sweat laced her brow and her look was glassy and intense, her fingers twitched on his shoulders and her hips bucked mindlessly at the continuing stimulation.

When he saw that she was sated once more, content and exhausted in his arms, it was too much. It was knowing that he had completely satisfied her that sent him careening over the edge as he buried himself deep into her again and again, moaning her name longingly into her ear as he came, because she is his, just like he was hers and he will not lose her. He kept thrusting as he finished and only ceased his movements when he was completely and utterly spent. They remained like that for a while, refusing to part just yet, reveling in each other. He gently allowed his head to rest against her shoulder, trying to catch his breath.

She shudders when his hot breath hits her skin, or maybe she is still shuddering from before, he can't quite tell. Only after long moments and after they both regained their breath did he allow her to set her legs down, gliding out of her. It was then that he realized that he might have hurt her as he cupped her face with both hands, pulling her into a kiss.

"I am sorry, my love", he whispered against her lips, searching her eyes for an answer.

Instead she smiled and kissed him softly. "Don't be", she said simply and leaning her head against his shoulder.

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Another short piece, standing on its own; this time as you could deduce after the dark ritual with Morrigan. I want to thank _**BeautifulApparition**_, again! Thanks for reading through this and correcting it, adding your own suggestions. I really think it made it better. =) I apologize again for any mistakes in here, I hope I could reduce them with BeautifulApparition's help. If there is anything, that sounds strange to you/you find a mistake and you feel annoyed enough to want it changed, don't hesitate to contact me. I'm always very glad for contributions! Hopefully I will be able to write down some more of the ideas in my head over the weekend.


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